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I looked around and there saw a Starbucks a few stores away from me so I went in and ordered a black coffee. Connecting to their wi-fi I sit down and took a sip from the coffee my face screwing up as the pretty awful taste hit me. Jesus, I though to myself, If that's what fair trade tastes like we should definitely continue to exploit the workforce of these countries. I put the cup down and taking up my phone opened google and searched for adult stores in the local area. I went down the results. I'd been to that one already, that one was closed, so was that. The last option was the place that had apparently been there since the late 70's it was called Club X. I took another slug of awful coffee and decided, well why not try that one, and it was only 5 minutes away. I put the cup of half finished coffee down and walked out he door of the Starbucks in the direction Google maps said this place was in. A lot of roadworks took me across the opposite side of the street which allowed me see. What remains of my family is very closely knit, and definitely run by the women. Since no one in our family for the last several generations had managed to pick a worthwhile husband, my family was particularly reluctant to admit new men to their ranks. And David was being invited on vacation. Seeing as he was the only male to be included in a sea of ‘once wounded, twice shy’ defensive estrogen, he was sure to be under particularly close scrutiny all weekend. For David, the invitation amounted to a final casting call, he was being allowed to audition for the director, my grandmother. To his credit, he recognized the perils of his situation, and had already come to me for pointers on impressing the grams. You have to respect a person who understands the daunting nature of a task and still has the temerity to attempt it. If he could just survive this weekend, he would be home free. Once accepted into my family, I believe that assassination of a talk show host is the only offense for.
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